To Die For

Dark,
Nauseating,
Your hand leaving mine and sinking into oblivion
It’s the same dream I have been having for months
Waking up really distraught and gasping for air most times
How do you expect me to let you go like this?
The one who stood by my side since I was a babe
The one whom my entire existence revolves around
I look by my side and I can hear your little gasps for air
Sometimes I wish I could take your pain away
But the one who takes the pain away is mute to my pleas
I can see the pain and the sorrow that floods your eyes whenever we talk
But your smile is the only bond I need to stay sane
They say ‘what does not kill you makes you stronger’
But my heart is numb with cold
And I’m certain it would end me
And at your expense, I’d take that seat
Is it enough to trade mine for yours? Yes
Sometimes I pray with my broken heart
Hoping we wake to a miracle
But do miracles exist? Or am I just pessimistic this time?
Now I regret the fights and tears I caused
The pain that such a good being should leave is haunting to my existence
I owe you one for all I’ve put you through
Can I take your place this time? Yes I’m demanding for the sake of love
The shell of yourself, I can fill it up
I just want to be enough to die for you